S01x07 – shadowself

ummm what can I tell you. Super weird how the song sounds a certain way and you write the lyrics to match it and then when it you put it all together it sounds completely different? idgi. This song was pure 90s MBV-core as an instrumental* but then once I recorded the lyrics…idk. “emo beach boys” is I think how I described it in my journal.

*Prior art:

  • Swirlies – 2 Girls Kissing
  • Difference Engine – 5 Listens
  • Autolux – Here Comes Everybody

Anyways, I’m more abandoning this one than finishing it. It didn’t quite come together the way it seemed it was until it was too late to do anything but watch it disappear over the rails.

Things that went well this week:

  • Recording the guitars and bass! Pretty cinchy actually.
  • Vocal mixing! Feeling pretty good about my EQ/compression/reverb chain. I feel like my ear can hear the things happening in the mix a lot better than even a few weeks ago.
  • idk, something. I mean it’s always fun, so whatever.

Things that did not:

  • My singing! Ugh! Should I take lessons?
  • I know how to write music, lyrics, and a melody, but there’s something about making all three work together that I feel like I’m missing. Hard to describe.
  • idk friends, just the way it came together. I was really excited until I wasn’t.

Anyways! I can tell you now I’ve got a bunch of offline stuff going on over the next week so no update next week. Maybe we could BOTH use the time off.


My heart is doing too much
But they say my heart doesn’t do anything

Spend a year asleep
This is not the you who stayed inside
Filming your back slide
(Maybe try a different therapy)
Spend a year alone
(Maybe retrain your neuropathy)
Deleting all your pictures from online
(Ask your doctor now about)
Tracking your decline

I wear these wires
But don’t connect to anything
Hiding from people I used to like

This is not you this
Is not you this is
Not you this is not
You this is not you