S01x12 – Cherish the Prototype

Hmmmmm not even sure what to write about this one. Going into it, I had been listening to a lot of k-pop, especially some of my favorite producers like Primary and L-Like; taking apart the chords and melodies they use to understand how their songs are constructed. So that was definitely top of mind when I came up with this song, but it definitely sounds nothing like them, or anywhere near as good.

One of the things I’m still struggling with/amazed by is how different the song sounds when it’s done. All the way through building the music, even through writing and recording the vocals, this sone was One Thing in my head, and then when I listened back to it I realized it was completely Not That Thing.

That’s fine, part of that is just letting my songs be my songs. There’s maybe something good about that, even, a trail that leads to whatever it is “my music” sounds like/is. But still part of me feels disappointment about where the finished product always lands. And it’s not about the reality being not as good as the version I imagine at the start, I’ve been writing fiction for 25+ years, I’m familiar and comfortable and accepting of how that works. It’s more about wanting to see and understand how the choices I make influence the finished project.

Using writing as an example: Say I’m writing a story. I can see how the decisions I make at each sentence level will determine the path, the shape the story will take as a result. This song today mentions “decision trees” and that’s what I mean – I can see how the choices affect what I’m doing to the thing I’m creating, in writing. But in music I’m still very much in the “what does this button do?”/ “who knows why this vocal effect sounds different from that one? not me. / “why is this the wrong drum sound for this song?”

I guess I’m frustrated that the more I learn the more I’m still realizing I have no clue what I’m doing. I wish I was making more progress! But whatever, every song I finish is progress of some kind so here you go.

Anyways this song was really fun for the most part. I think it’s the right direction. I like the chords, I like the key, I like the amount of lyrics it has. Still my singing is the pits (more about that in a different post), and there’s still stuff I would fiddle with and edit (if I decide to do more with this song) , but it’s a pretty catchy song, to me, and that’s what I care about most. Onward!


logged off for the summer
trying to focus on things that weren’t you
wondering if you ever noticed, if you even knew

take it all apart
put it back together
some parts are yours, some are mine
build a better version, learn from past mistakes
this place, this time

midnight in the bedroom
counting the shadows in the mirror
hoping your voice still sounds familiar if you call
whispers getting clearer
trying to hear the prototype behind the wall

went through old notebooks
wondering what might have made you stay
drew a decision tree, found a new you & me
Closer than ever, miles away

took it all apart
put it back together
some parts were yours, some were mine
built a better version, learned from past mistakes
this place, this time